Hip hop dance, ballet dance, modern dance, ballroom dance, I’ve done them all and love them all. My parents put me in dance class since I was a wee little one and I fell in love with it immediately.
But it’s been a while since I last danced. After high school, I stopped formally dancing and by that I mean no dance lessons or drop-ins of the sort. Does playing Just Dance count? Haha anyways, I was hesitant to take lessons again because I felt so incredibly rusty and I had this fear of making a fool of myself.
Actually, this fear of looking silly wasn’t restricted to just dance, it applied to many aspects of my life as well. It ranged from something as academic as answering questions in class, to something as casual as improv games with friends. I just had this inexplicable fear of being wrong and looking ridiculous.
I’m not sure when I started getting over this fear, but I know it’s been a few years in the making. The other day I realized how far I’ve come because I finally had the guts to take a drop-in class at Harbour Dance Centre and I had such a fun time!
A lot prevented me from going earlier. Like I said above, I had a fear of looking stupid and in a dance class, I would most definitely look stupid and people would most definitely notice. For those who haven’t taken a class before, the usual structure is warm-up –> routine –> performance. In the performance stage of the class, we take turns “performing” for each other and I dreaded this so much!
To be honest I still felt uncomfortable with it today. My hands were shaking a bit before class, but I realized something… who cares? I’m going to a dance class because I love dancing and I want to have fun. I’m not trying to impress anyone or to prove anything.
In the past few months of teaching, I’ve been able to get over that fear of looking ridiculous because I just have to be (and would rather be) in class. It makes everything more fun and students loosen up quicker. I also started “letting go” once I became a youth group leader. All these baby steps have led me to having a very different experience in this hip hop class.
No I didn’t do the routine perfectly and I definitely did not nail the key moments. But the biggest difference between this hip hop class, and the random ones I took 2 years ago, is how I felt afterwards. This time around, I felt good and not down on myself. I really tried my best and I achieved my goal of just dancing and having fun. Last time around, I felt stressed and anxious because all eyes were on me and I thought they were judging me. Even if they were this time, I don’t care because you know what? I’m going to dance like no one is watching.
Thanks for reading and have a great day 🙂