It’s been a while since my last post of this sort and things have changed so much. Instead of one kid, I have two! My eldest is 4 and my youngest is 2 and boy can they be a handful. But as I read Confessions of a Tired Momma #1, I can tell that I’ve grown and changed as a parent.
Back then, I think I was still desperately trying to hold on to my pre-baby life and now I’ve accepted that my new normal is vastly different. I was also much too sarcastic and had such a negative perspective. I’m by no means perfect and always positive now, it’s pretty hard when the world throws COVID-19 into the mix, but seeing perspective has helped me cope a lot.
The one thing that hasn’t changed is that I’m still physically and mentally tired a lot. My girls, for the most part, play well together, but just like any siblings, they will fight. My mental battery drains each time I play mediator and my physical battery never feels fully charged because although my kids are early to bed, they’re early to rise too.
I’m tired of doing laundry multiple times in the week and the never ending stack of dishes in our sink. I don’t think our floor will ever be spotless and toys will always be strewn about somewhere in our home.
But I’m happy.
I sometimes fantasize about what life would have been like if we never had kids and although it would have been fun, I think I would have eventually wanted kids. Kids are exhausting, dirty, and infuriating but our girls are also incredibly compassionate, goofy, and joyous. The pros outweigh the cons for us and I absolutely adore our little family.
When the days are long, I have to remind myself that this isn’t forever. One day, our girls will grow and not need us for cuddles anymore. One day, they’ll want to be independent and do their own things. So for now, albeit frighteningly early in the morning, I’ll take the cuddles and be the help they need.